Kylan has been of nursery age for over a month now and he has actually gotten WORSE over that month about me leaving. There are (in my opinion) three reasons for this, the first being that he has become very very clingy, and for those of you who know me well you know the last thing I want is for my kids to be clingy, so this is very frustrating for me. . The second reason I think nursery isn't working is that there are only 5 kids in there, two others are Ky's age and the other two are 3. Nothing can be done about this, but more distraction might help. The last reason (once again, my opinion) is that the nursery leaders make no effort in trying to get him to stay. Last week when I left I stayed by the door. I heard him come to the door, then the nursery leader asked him if he wanted a cookie, he took the cookie and then said in a sad voice (NOT CRYING) "momma" and she said, "Oh, you want your mom, well lets go get her." Errr!!! I have served in nursery, you have to distract them and even let them cry a little, not bawling crying of course, but it's part of the process. They are worried it will traumatize him and it is so frustrating to me! They don't even try to really play with him or get him to play with the other kids, instead, when I come in they set me up a chair right next to him and tell him to ask me when he wants something! We always kept them away from their parents as much as possible and then had them sneak out when they weren't looking. Oh no, can't do that in ours. I tried to sneak out one week, and they told me to come tell him I was leaving. As you can guess, that didn't work too well.
Then, to top it all off, it was another little boys first day today, and he walked right in and never looked back. Maybe by the time he is 3 he will like it!
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6 comments:
You're having a girl!!! SO FUN! girls are so fun to play dress up with.
I'm so nervous for emma to start nursery. I am definitely ready for someone else to chase her around, but I don't know what to expect!
Emma usually does ok when I leave, but lately it has been sooooo dramatic for her. I guess we will see in a few months!
Our nursery is right next to the Elder's Quorm and so we joke about if the kids are bad they'll just pull the curtain away and let the Dad's take care of their bratty little kids. I think it's a good idea. That's pretty sad about the nursery leader. I sympathize with you.
It took Wyatt 4 months - atleast, before he would just go in. I tried the sneaking out, the letting him cry - I think we went 20 minutes one time hearing him screaming/crying. I don't know what happened, but it just worked one week. The other thing is developmentally, they go through separation anxiety around 18 months, so for some kids that makes nursery even harder. It will get better. . . maybe just in time for you to have another baby to haul around at church:).
bummer. we were lucky with jill. however, i thing i've noticed: the second is different.
you may get lucky with your girl.
i agree with you though about the nursery leaders. EFFORT would be appreciated.
That sounds so frustrating! We have been blessed with great nurseries so all Ican think for advice is to talk to the leaders and let them know exactly what you expect of them so that everyone can have a great experience.
Too annoying about those leaders! This is what worked for Jeron...he has ALWAYS been my very cautious worrier...even at 18 months! We talked a lot about nursery all week long. He always took his "Muuma" (any security object will do) with him. I had to "wean" him away from me...by that I mean that it was a process. I went in with him and stayed for quite a while...20-30 minutes. Then, we had a "see-you-later" routine: a hug and kiss, and mom will be right back. I don't agree with "sneaking out"...that's just teaching them to not trust you and makes the problem way worse. You need to tell him you're leaving and re-assure him that you WILL come back for him...that's the whole basis of separation anxiety...being left and no one coming back. I would leave, even if he was having a fit. I stayed out for 5-10 minutes at first and then came back in, always making a REALLY BIG deal that I had come back for him. "Look! I came back just like I said I would! I will always come back for you!" Talk about coming back during the week, too. The staying with them time shortens as the weeks go on and the leaving them there time lengthens. One day...and it didn't take too long...you'll give him a hug and a kiss and a see-you-later and he'll run in! Make sure that the leaders know what you're doing and that they are to be helpful and not run to get you at every whimper. You being there initially serves to show him that this is a secure environment that you are comfortable in. As he sees that you are comfortable, he will be, too. The teachers should definitely be more involved in involving him...you might mention that to them. K...sorry for the soapbox...did I mention that early childhood education is my thing? I guess I have more than just my own kid experience, too.
Now...there may be a problem if he decides to bite the cute little blonde girl in the nursery during the first couple weeks he's there...they could turn out to be best friends! Oh, the stories Kim and I will be able to tell on Jeron and Ashley!
btw...we start this process all over again with Davis next month! Wish me luck! I wish you the easiness of an outgoing girl next! Jadee was a piece of cake...she just went!
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